Saraswati Puja: why I couldn't make it this year

"My simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple."
His holiness Dalai Lama 


Disclaimer

The purpose of the following post is not to disrespect the religious sentiments of any practicing person. Nor do I have any intentions to dampen the spirits of the organisers of the pooja. Keep going guys, you are really doing a great job!
But I have my issues with the goddess herself. A one on one thing between me and her and rest are just dragged on into our vendetta. 

Prelude: Every year few of our Nitkians organise Saraswati Pooja as a mark to pay respect to the Goddess of Knowledge who has gifted us with such a conducive environment for learning. (yeah right!?) Well this year the author Pingu purposely didn’t make it for the pious occasion. Read more to find out why!


A Pingu's page exclusive:

Dear Saraswatiji,

Were you looking out for me this year? My apologies I couldn’t make it for your auspicious Pooja. L 
But no...

I don’t have a chillar bhar ka regret!

Nopes, no tests. I was 'fulto' free. Just didn’t bother to make my presence felt!

Oh yah... I heard that!!! You called me an atheist? 
For heavens sake Sarawatiji, of all people not me!

Now u must be gossiping with Ganeshji. Yup I couldn’t make it home for Ganesh Chaturthi as well! (Was it this year or last?) And again no regrets!
A question may pop in your head . ‘Of all the 300 crore Hindu deities, what made me choose Ganeshji and you to express my displeasure? Here it goes:

Inspite of you knowing the unknown, I don’t expect you to know the reasons for my actions. You need to be a student at my institute to understand the ground situation.

9^th best technical institute in the country, infrastructure, qualified profs blah blah…All said and done, the knowledge which you impart us through your messiahs (that would be the teachers) is not being delivered in the appropriate manner.

No hard feelings, but if there was no concept of attendance I wouldn’t even bother to warm the benches compromising my comfort level for sleep! There are macho guys in my institute who would prefer watching Sarah Jessica in the SATC marathon then attend classes. (don't look over here, its not me!) With minute hand of the clock refusing to move faster the only concept that we learn is that of 'time dilation' over and over again.


The messiahs speak, we write (sometimes), they set the questions, we answer, they correct, we introspect and cry in regret. The one ingredient missing in this process is that of "Excitement". The excitement to learn and enjoy what you are learning. Sadly Saraswatiji you have not taken notice of this staunch reality and thus failed in your duty as our role model.

Sorry again for not making it to your day, but any ways I would still like to pray and ask for your wishes (don’t know if I am entitled to do so)
chill and read maadi!

1.     Compulsory shots of vodka should be given to every lecturer before d commencement of class. Heard people do some crazy things under its influence.

2.     For every extra minute the lecturer takes after the bell rings, he/she should be penalised for the same. (C’mon guys please be on time for the class, and this go for my chemical bros!)

3.    Oh the list will go on… be free to update the list readers..:)

Boy I wish I was at ‘kidzee’-where learning is fun!

But no work is supposed to be worship out here. Lo karlo aur pooja…

Times have changed drastically. If you try and play your veena today to facilitate the learning, it has to be accompanied with an amplifier tuned into heavy metal.( lets have some ac/dc!)

Ciao next year…

Hope things turn out better then. It would be my pleasure to grace the occasion. (anyway no one cares if I come or not!)

Yours truly,

Pingu

PS: I know I have been very rude to you, but please try to understand. Things aren’t going as the way I planned this semester. Kindly bestow your grace and mahima on my marks this sem! And yeah if you are friends with Kamdeva then use bhi baat karna..i hope you know what I mean ;)

Page break!

The Cut-Throat 'Biaaaatch'!

Amber: It’s a game. You can either play for fun or play to win. If you want to win, you want cut-throat.

Ok readers, please focus on the first three words of the title. ‘Every Biatch will eventually find its place only to get all the attention!’

To all the feminist out there: 'When I say Cut-Throat Biatch, there are no bounds on its gender....'


But whom are we kidding? Everyone agrees that a CTB is usually a female, dog or otherwise ;) (the bitching hasn't started yet)

There has to be atleast one CTB in every person’s life, be it a boy or girl.. There is this someone with a 32KB heart with absolutely no space for emotions. A someone whom you can’t help but to hate.A someone who is cruel, excessively rude, egoistic, dogmatic, stubborn, bossy, boisterous, obnoxious and extremely competitive (Thank you MS word for those adjectives!). Someone who can go to the ninth mile to win an argument to maintain one’s supremacy. A someone for whom winning means the world and the cost for it doesn't matter.


For a CTB the sun is just a celestial show piece who competes with her for the (lime)LIGHT. The world revolves around her. You may not like her, but you can’t ignore her. You always know when a CTB is around. A CTB is aggressive and therefore unfeminine.( ahem ahem). Usually they'l be the ones who talk the most, but there are other species as well... The ones who screw you behind your back, leaving you completely unaware of the upcoming catastrophe. No sign of remorse on 'her'(no gender specificity) face, instead she'll dig in as deep as she can possibly can and then move on to the next prey!

CTBs,they are everywhere… At work places, in classrooms (either facing the blackboard or otherwise ;) ), at hostels, at home everywhere!

You ride your bike on a pleasant Sunday morning and there’ll be CTB ready to overtake you. You go to an ATM and find a girl/lady drilling into her purse/bag at a leisurely pace not caring of the fact that the guy standing on the other side of the door has a class to attend in a few minutes! And then you get those “Watch it dude, I am a girl looks”… Yes you are pretty, but my hormones can wait, not the lecture!

 ‘CT’ or not but she’ll definitely get a well deserved ‘B’ from me!

Wonder how it feels being a CTB? Are you ignorant of the fact? Or you consider it as an act of affirmation by self instead of negation by others. But the fact is that, every one is a potential CTB. We behave like one once in a while. It’s a man’s world out there. To be able to live, a woman has to agree to serve, honour and obey and what she gets in exchange is a life in a shadow. CTBs refuse to honour the society. They want to be both female and human, an utter contradiction in an orthodox world. CTBs are the best example of how a woman can be strong enough to survive the rigid, punitive socialization… RESPECT!                      

It’s a game. You can either play for fun or play to win. If you want to win, you want cut-throat. Beware men they are here to rule...

HAPPY St. VALENTINE's DAY to all the CTBs I have ever known! (specially the one speical CTB I had in mind while writing this post *amen*)

Just for laughs! Exclusively for HOUSE M.D. fans