Saraswati Puja: why I couldn't make it this year

"My simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple."
His holiness Dalai Lama 


Disclaimer

The purpose of the following post is not to disrespect the religious sentiments of any practicing person. Nor do I have any intentions to dampen the spirits of the organisers of the pooja. Keep going guys, you are really doing a great job!
But I have my issues with the goddess herself. A one on one thing between me and her and rest are just dragged on into our vendetta. 

Prelude: Every year few of our Nitkians organise Saraswati Pooja as a mark to pay respect to the Goddess of Knowledge who has gifted us with such a conducive environment for learning. (yeah right!?) Well this year the author Pingu purposely didn’t make it for the pious occasion. Read more to find out why!


A Pingu's page exclusive:

Dear Saraswatiji,

Were you looking out for me this year? My apologies I couldn’t make it for your auspicious Pooja. L 
But no...

I don’t have a chillar bhar ka regret!

Nopes, no tests. I was 'fulto' free. Just didn’t bother to make my presence felt!

Oh yah... I heard that!!! You called me an atheist? 
For heavens sake Sarawatiji, of all people not me!

Now u must be gossiping with Ganeshji. Yup I couldn’t make it home for Ganesh Chaturthi as well! (Was it this year or last?) And again no regrets!
A question may pop in your head . ‘Of all the 300 crore Hindu deities, what made me choose Ganeshji and you to express my displeasure? Here it goes:

Inspite of you knowing the unknown, I don’t expect you to know the reasons for my actions. You need to be a student at my institute to understand the ground situation.

9^th best technical institute in the country, infrastructure, qualified profs blah blah…All said and done, the knowledge which you impart us through your messiahs (that would be the teachers) is not being delivered in the appropriate manner.

No hard feelings, but if there was no concept of attendance I wouldn’t even bother to warm the benches compromising my comfort level for sleep! There are macho guys in my institute who would prefer watching Sarah Jessica in the SATC marathon then attend classes. (don't look over here, its not me!) With minute hand of the clock refusing to move faster the only concept that we learn is that of 'time dilation' over and over again.


The messiahs speak, we write (sometimes), they set the questions, we answer, they correct, we introspect and cry in regret. The one ingredient missing in this process is that of "Excitement". The excitement to learn and enjoy what you are learning. Sadly Saraswatiji you have not taken notice of this staunch reality and thus failed in your duty as our role model.

Sorry again for not making it to your day, but any ways I would still like to pray and ask for your wishes (don’t know if I am entitled to do so)
chill and read maadi!

1.     Compulsory shots of vodka should be given to every lecturer before d commencement of class. Heard people do some crazy things under its influence.

2.     For every extra minute the lecturer takes after the bell rings, he/she should be penalised for the same. (C’mon guys please be on time for the class, and this go for my chemical bros!)

3.    Oh the list will go on… be free to update the list readers..:)

Boy I wish I was at ‘kidzee’-where learning is fun!

But no work is supposed to be worship out here. Lo karlo aur pooja…

Times have changed drastically. If you try and play your veena today to facilitate the learning, it has to be accompanied with an amplifier tuned into heavy metal.( lets have some ac/dc!)

Ciao next year…

Hope things turn out better then. It would be my pleasure to grace the occasion. (anyway no one cares if I come or not!)

Yours truly,

Pingu

PS: I know I have been very rude to you, but please try to understand. Things aren’t going as the way I planned this semester. Kindly bestow your grace and mahima on my marks this sem! And yeah if you are friends with Kamdeva then use bhi baat karna..i hope you know what I mean ;)

Page break!

The Cut-Throat 'Biaaaatch'!

Amber: It’s a game. You can either play for fun or play to win. If you want to win, you want cut-throat.

Ok readers, please focus on the first three words of the title. ‘Every Biatch will eventually find its place only to get all the attention!’

To all the feminist out there: 'When I say Cut-Throat Biatch, there are no bounds on its gender....'


But whom are we kidding? Everyone agrees that a CTB is usually a female, dog or otherwise ;) (the bitching hasn't started yet)

There has to be atleast one CTB in every person’s life, be it a boy or girl.. There is this someone with a 32KB heart with absolutely no space for emotions. A someone whom you can’t help but to hate.A someone who is cruel, excessively rude, egoistic, dogmatic, stubborn, bossy, boisterous, obnoxious and extremely competitive (Thank you MS word for those adjectives!). Someone who can go to the ninth mile to win an argument to maintain one’s supremacy. A someone for whom winning means the world and the cost for it doesn't matter.


For a CTB the sun is just a celestial show piece who competes with her for the (lime)LIGHT. The world revolves around her. You may not like her, but you can’t ignore her. You always know when a CTB is around. A CTB is aggressive and therefore unfeminine.( ahem ahem). Usually they'l be the ones who talk the most, but there are other species as well... The ones who screw you behind your back, leaving you completely unaware of the upcoming catastrophe. No sign of remorse on 'her'(no gender specificity) face, instead she'll dig in as deep as she can possibly can and then move on to the next prey!

CTBs,they are everywhere… At work places, in classrooms (either facing the blackboard or otherwise ;) ), at hostels, at home everywhere!

You ride your bike on a pleasant Sunday morning and there’ll be CTB ready to overtake you. You go to an ATM and find a girl/lady drilling into her purse/bag at a leisurely pace not caring of the fact that the guy standing on the other side of the door has a class to attend in a few minutes! And then you get those “Watch it dude, I am a girl looks”… Yes you are pretty, but my hormones can wait, not the lecture!

 ‘CT’ or not but she’ll definitely get a well deserved ‘B’ from me!

Wonder how it feels being a CTB? Are you ignorant of the fact? Or you consider it as an act of affirmation by self instead of negation by others. But the fact is that, every one is a potential CTB. We behave like one once in a while. It’s a man’s world out there. To be able to live, a woman has to agree to serve, honour and obey and what she gets in exchange is a life in a shadow. CTBs refuse to honour the society. They want to be both female and human, an utter contradiction in an orthodox world. CTBs are the best example of how a woman can be strong enough to survive the rigid, punitive socialization… RESPECT!                      

It’s a game. You can either play for fun or play to win. If you want to win, you want cut-throat. Beware men they are here to rule...

HAPPY St. VALENTINE's DAY to all the CTBs I have ever known! (specially the one speical CTB I had in mind while writing this post *amen*)

Just for laughs! Exclusively for HOUSE M.D. fans

Embracing ∆(LIFE)…

“This Changes Everything!”  That’s what the poster on the notice board said…

A laugh seemed bellicose…

“Impressive”, I said. “I’ll look forward to it!”.

Unlike the poster that’s Impressive!

A lie so well camouflaged, that the best of the FBI’s dogs wouldn’t smell the sarcasm.

Vaccination for HIV, aliens invading the Earth, Apocalypse; now that would really change the whole kit and caboodle!

For good or the bad, but changes have always been atop of my “dislike” list.

I am not alone in this universe who hates ∆. Ask the people of West Bengal who just refuse to get things “RIGHT”! ;)

Why should I always be the dependent variable? When even a differential variation in someone else’s life results in a drastic change in my world!?

Why do I unwillingly let changes forced upon me?

Changes have been enforced upon me and I have capitulated to the ∆.

I often miss the past, especially thinking back to when I was a child. Back then I didn’t care so much of what people thought of me and was more open in some ways. I just miss not having the fear to do and say certain things, because when you are a child you don’t really think about the consequences of your actions or agonise so much over whether you should listen to the devil or the angel!

Where does the past/future lie? It’s there in my mind…

That’s were the sadness arise...

Life was so unpretentious back then, but delta had to strike, not once or twice but time and again!

Momma’s boy is no more a child today. From his personal room to a four membered concentration camp to a two membered cubical slot in a third world wing, its ∆ all the way!

There was a time a year back, when staring at the ceiling fan was considered to be a source of entertainment. Today is one such day for me. A day when one loses the purpose of his life. A day when existence and survival conflicts with my living.

Guess stagnancy in life comes with an expiry date embarked upon. With the hope to find some stimulus, motivation and spice to life, I continue to gaze at the ceiling fan…

And those anticipating a follow up to my previous post, “Wait for it....almost there" :)

Adieus amigos…

Penguin talkies

Arrrhhh….!!

No soul on the planet seems to be bothered if I write on my blog or not! *frowns with anger*

The big “WHY”..

What made me stay away from the blog ki duniya?

Well the author had the same questions in mind…

Off he set to the Antarctic to seek the answers!

Presenting to my blogdosts a Pingu’s page exclusive; a head on interview with the Penguin itself!

(Sorry Miss Shobha De, but I checked with patent office. The word ‘blogdost’ hasn’t been patented yet and hence its use cannot be considered as ‘intelligence theft’!)

Me: So Mr Pingu, correct my biology if I am wrong, but from when did Penguins start to hibernate?!

Pingu: Excuse me?

Me: Where have you been dude? It’s been ages since your last post! The bloggers are getting impatient awaiting your post…

Pingu: Impatient? Lol..

I appreciate your sense of humour! I really do! :D

 The number of comments on my previous two posts strengthens your claims da…

Me: wait a minute… Did I just hear you say ‘Da’?  My god it’s contagious! Have these guys reached the South Pole as well?

Pingu: Don’t beat around the snow! Come to the point…(no bushes on the Penguin land.. ;) )

Me: the blog!

Pingu: oh yeah…

“Christmas time buddy; the reindeers have retired.

Santa is recruiting penguins this season!

Been burning the midnight oil all this while…

Prepare a CV, browse the web, get the recommendation letters, the SOPs; and I haven’t yet mailed the Santas around the World!

Me: You mean you are trying for internships? But it’s already Christmas yaar!

Pingu: yup! nailed it… The dosa batter is ready, needs to be fermented for a year or so; and then put it on the tawa the next summer vacation...

Me: Goodness gracious me! Dosa? ??

That was the best analogy you could think of Mr. Penguin? So much for your tryst with ‘da’!

Pingu: pepepiii pupu! “Abuses in the local language”

Me:  And what makes you feel the Santa would select a penguin from the South Pole when there are already much more active, hardworking guys out there at the Artic? Polar Bears for instance..

Pingu: thanks a lot for the encouragement!

Me: ahh…I was just…

Never mind. So that’s it? That’s your only reason?  Nothing on your personal front that has kept u away for so long?

Pingu: I’m glad you asked. J

You know, we have a proverb in our native Penguin language, “Pi Pii..piiiii..puu pooo pi pipi poo”.

Me: Nice! J

Pingu: What nice? It’s not yet over!

“Pi Pii..piiiii..puu pooo pi pipi poo,

Po po popo po!”

Ok now is the time when u say the wah wah!

Me: Couldn’t understand a word, but whatever it was, sounds awful! What happened Mr. Penguin?

I smell something… I smell… a female!

Pingu: Nopes that’s the scent of Penguin Poop that has filled your nostrils! Mesmerising, isn’t it?

Me: eeeeeeeeeewww…that’s sick!

Pingu: Six months without the Sun! Scarcity of fishes… We penguins are left with no option but to “Pop the Poop”! :D Bon appetit…

Me: Very smart, diverting from the topic! The blogdosts would be very grateful to you if you tell them about the female penguin… whoever or rather whatever it is that is bothering you!

I see a new Zuckerburg in the making…

Pingu: Ok fine, but that would be 1200 bucks extra excluding the interview charge! ;)

Here it goes…

To be continued…

(If someone reads this posts!!!!)