What’s the craziest thing you’ve done lately?

All those who have seen the movie, “The Girl Next Door” , flash back time guys!


It’s my favourite time of the year again! Another of my year on this planet comes to a closure, and I am still struggling to decipher the meaning of my existence in this universe.


I sit on the broken chair of my hostel room today, trying to recollect the events from my life that stood out from the rest so. If one fine day I ever taste some substantial amount of success, I would like to write an autobiography and fill it up with all the wackiest and crazy stuffs I have ever done. As the guy on the $100 bill would say, “Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing”. Right here right now I attempt to do both!
Blogdosts, this post today is an attempt to spill the beans. An insight into my world.

Before I proceed any further I have a few instructions for the readers:
I. This blogpost is strictly for all homo-sapiens except my mom! So mom if you
are reading this please forgive me…

II. All those gossipers out there, remember,
“what happens on my page, stays on my page!”

Time has come when he breaks the shackles and gets out of the skin or fur, whatever a penguin is supposed to have!




OK here it goes, five of the many crazy stories with me in the lead role!

5. Loot gayi Izzat in Pizza’t:

This tale goes back many many years, but every time I think about it, the guilt of embarrassment fills my mind. Well I was small, as small as I would love to play in one of these!

Place: Chennai.
Me, one of my Chess buddy had a visit to the nearby Pizza Hut. After a strenuous chess session this was a kick-ass way to regulate the stress hormones. They had one of this amazing ball pools and within no time me and my pal plunged into the ballroom.

A few minutes into our play, the store manager gave orders to vacate the pool. What the hell mate? We aren't done! (Don’t be a pervert, its not the way it sounds!)
Apparently we were 6 years too old to be have a swim. 10-15 customers in the house, the kids staring at us, clearly we were the elephant in the room! Wonder what they were thinking about us..
‘how many glasses of complan do these two kids drink each day.
Mommy I want my complan dose to be doubled with immediate effect! I wanna be as tall as those two 10 year olds in the pool!’

The guy with the tie, mumbled a few life lessons and all that we could do was hold our heads down and say.
“Seri Seri Sir, Seri Seri!”


4. ‘Well Done’ Inversion:

Time: 3.30pm. Place: Coaching centre, Chemistry class.

Yawn Yawn…
As much as I love Organic Chemistry; I have always maintained that a gloomy cloudy afternoon is not the best time to express your love!
The teacher with no clue of my mood continued with his daily chores.

‘Substitution Nuclear Reactions’, written in dark bold letters on the board. Yawn Yawn…(2 yawns in two minutes..boy I was on fire! Hope that’s not the case with the reader too :P )

The spatial arrangement of the product molecule gets inverted relative to the reactant, commonly known as the umbrella effect or ‘Walden Inversion’.

And then it struck me. There is this someone in a class of around 100 students who has worn his t-shirt inside out! Crystal clear, no printed design, the stiches and the threads clearly visible…
A one look by any student any the news would spread like a chain reaction. From your best friends, to the bullies and even the chicks!
My heart started playing double base, from dhak…dhak to dhak dhak…dhak dhak..the sound so loud that overpowered my lethargy.

Keep a low profile, everything will be just fine I consoled myself.
“Any answers, Shubham?” the sir asked. ‘No sir not today, I have bigger issues to worry about then your petty questions!

30 minutes for the break, and my reputation at stake. Boy I wish I could go underground for a few a while! The clock struck four. With no restrooms nearby, I had to make a decision. Either risk it out for another 90 minutes by staying in the class or to go out in the open flash your flabs to the pedestrians and restore the damage done. I chose the latter. Period.

What happened next is best if kept a secret.
All said and done, it was an inversion “Well-done”!




3. Hit me if you can!

Well this time I was sick. Sick of the monotonous daily routine. I needed the adrenaline rush. Something to make things more worth while!

Here it goes:

On a dark desert highway,
Cool wind in my hair,
Warm smell of colitis (yup 5th block was near by)
Rising through the air,
Up ahead in the distance,
I saw a shimmering light,
My head grew heavy and my sight grew dimmer,


Place: National Highway 17 Time: after dinner.

Three guys were on their way after a heavy dinner (food only ;)) at Sai Bhavani. One of them was still unsatisfied. Nothing seemed interesting to him at that time. Bored of tv series, no distant holidays to have a trip home and the frantic classes to make things worse.

There are these times when your friends stereotype you with a certain tag which they keep bragging about for eternity. Only way to stop the trend, cut loose, prove them wrong…


And then I did it...

To know what happened next and to check out the top two slots in my all time crazy deed list, tune in to your very own Pingu’s page

Till then adieus amigos!

To be continued…



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Saraswati Puja: why I couldn't make it this year

"My simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple."
His holiness Dalai Lama 


Disclaimer

The purpose of the following post is not to disrespect the religious sentiments of any practicing person. Nor do I have any intentions to dampen the spirits of the organisers of the pooja. Keep going guys, you are really doing a great job!
But I have my issues with the goddess herself. A one on one thing between me and her and rest are just dragged on into our vendetta. 

Prelude: Every year few of our Nitkians organise Saraswati Pooja as a mark to pay respect to the Goddess of Knowledge who has gifted us with such a conducive environment for learning. (yeah right!?) Well this year the author Pingu purposely didn’t make it for the pious occasion. Read more to find out why!


A Pingu's page exclusive:

Dear Saraswatiji,

Were you looking out for me this year? My apologies I couldn’t make it for your auspicious Pooja. L 
But no...

I don’t have a chillar bhar ka regret!

Nopes, no tests. I was 'fulto' free. Just didn’t bother to make my presence felt!

Oh yah... I heard that!!! You called me an atheist? 
For heavens sake Sarawatiji, of all people not me!

Now u must be gossiping with Ganeshji. Yup I couldn’t make it home for Ganesh Chaturthi as well! (Was it this year or last?) And again no regrets!
A question may pop in your head . ‘Of all the 300 crore Hindu deities, what made me choose Ganeshji and you to express my displeasure? Here it goes:

Inspite of you knowing the unknown, I don’t expect you to know the reasons for my actions. You need to be a student at my institute to understand the ground situation.

9^th best technical institute in the country, infrastructure, qualified profs blah blah…All said and done, the knowledge which you impart us through your messiahs (that would be the teachers) is not being delivered in the appropriate manner.

No hard feelings, but if there was no concept of attendance I wouldn’t even bother to warm the benches compromising my comfort level for sleep! There are macho guys in my institute who would prefer watching Sarah Jessica in the SATC marathon then attend classes. (don't look over here, its not me!) With minute hand of the clock refusing to move faster the only concept that we learn is that of 'time dilation' over and over again.


The messiahs speak, we write (sometimes), they set the questions, we answer, they correct, we introspect and cry in regret. The one ingredient missing in this process is that of "Excitement". The excitement to learn and enjoy what you are learning. Sadly Saraswatiji you have not taken notice of this staunch reality and thus failed in your duty as our role model.

Sorry again for not making it to your day, but any ways I would still like to pray and ask for your wishes (don’t know if I am entitled to do so)
chill and read maadi!

1.     Compulsory shots of vodka should be given to every lecturer before d commencement of class. Heard people do some crazy things under its influence.

2.     For every extra minute the lecturer takes after the bell rings, he/she should be penalised for the same. (C’mon guys please be on time for the class, and this go for my chemical bros!)

3.    Oh the list will go on… be free to update the list readers..:)

Boy I wish I was at ‘kidzee’-where learning is fun!

But no work is supposed to be worship out here. Lo karlo aur pooja…

Times have changed drastically. If you try and play your veena today to facilitate the learning, it has to be accompanied with an amplifier tuned into heavy metal.( lets have some ac/dc!)

Ciao next year…

Hope things turn out better then. It would be my pleasure to grace the occasion. (anyway no one cares if I come or not!)

Yours truly,

Pingu

PS: I know I have been very rude to you, but please try to understand. Things aren’t going as the way I planned this semester. Kindly bestow your grace and mahima on my marks this sem! And yeah if you are friends with Kamdeva then use bhi baat karna..i hope you know what I mean ;)

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The Cut-Throat 'Biaaaatch'!

Amber: It’s a game. You can either play for fun or play to win. If you want to win, you want cut-throat.

Ok readers, please focus on the first three words of the title. ‘Every Biatch will eventually find its place only to get all the attention!’

To all the feminist out there: 'When I say Cut-Throat Biatch, there are no bounds on its gender....'


But whom are we kidding? Everyone agrees that a CTB is usually a female, dog or otherwise ;) (the bitching hasn't started yet)

There has to be atleast one CTB in every person’s life, be it a boy or girl.. There is this someone with a 32KB heart with absolutely no space for emotions. A someone whom you can’t help but to hate.A someone who is cruel, excessively rude, egoistic, dogmatic, stubborn, bossy, boisterous, obnoxious and extremely competitive (Thank you MS word for those adjectives!). Someone who can go to the ninth mile to win an argument to maintain one’s supremacy. A someone for whom winning means the world and the cost for it doesn't matter.


For a CTB the sun is just a celestial show piece who competes with her for the (lime)LIGHT. The world revolves around her. You may not like her, but you can’t ignore her. You always know when a CTB is around. A CTB is aggressive and therefore unfeminine.( ahem ahem). Usually they'l be the ones who talk the most, but there are other species as well... The ones who screw you behind your back, leaving you completely unaware of the upcoming catastrophe. No sign of remorse on 'her'(no gender specificity) face, instead she'll dig in as deep as she can possibly can and then move on to the next prey!

CTBs,they are everywhere… At work places, in classrooms (either facing the blackboard or otherwise ;) ), at hostels, at home everywhere!

You ride your bike on a pleasant Sunday morning and there’ll be CTB ready to overtake you. You go to an ATM and find a girl/lady drilling into her purse/bag at a leisurely pace not caring of the fact that the guy standing on the other side of the door has a class to attend in a few minutes! And then you get those “Watch it dude, I am a girl looks”… Yes you are pretty, but my hormones can wait, not the lecture!

 ‘CT’ or not but she’ll definitely get a well deserved ‘B’ from me!

Wonder how it feels being a CTB? Are you ignorant of the fact? Or you consider it as an act of affirmation by self instead of negation by others. But the fact is that, every one is a potential CTB. We behave like one once in a while. It’s a man’s world out there. To be able to live, a woman has to agree to serve, honour and obey and what she gets in exchange is a life in a shadow. CTBs refuse to honour the society. They want to be both female and human, an utter contradiction in an orthodox world. CTBs are the best example of how a woman can be strong enough to survive the rigid, punitive socialization… RESPECT!                      

It’s a game. You can either play for fun or play to win. If you want to win, you want cut-throat. Beware men they are here to rule...

HAPPY St. VALENTINE's DAY to all the CTBs I have ever known! (specially the one speical CTB I had in mind while writing this post *amen*)

Just for laughs! Exclusively for HOUSE M.D. fans

Embracing ∆(LIFE)…

“This Changes Everything!”  That’s what the poster on the notice board said…

A laugh seemed bellicose…

“Impressive”, I said. “I’ll look forward to it!”.

Unlike the poster that’s Impressive!

A lie so well camouflaged, that the best of the FBI’s dogs wouldn’t smell the sarcasm.

Vaccination for HIV, aliens invading the Earth, Apocalypse; now that would really change the whole kit and caboodle!

For good or the bad, but changes have always been atop of my “dislike” list.

I am not alone in this universe who hates ∆. Ask the people of West Bengal who just refuse to get things “RIGHT”! ;)

Why should I always be the dependent variable? When even a differential variation in someone else’s life results in a drastic change in my world!?

Why do I unwillingly let changes forced upon me?

Changes have been enforced upon me and I have capitulated to the ∆.

I often miss the past, especially thinking back to when I was a child. Back then I didn’t care so much of what people thought of me and was more open in some ways. I just miss not having the fear to do and say certain things, because when you are a child you don’t really think about the consequences of your actions or agonise so much over whether you should listen to the devil or the angel!

Where does the past/future lie? It’s there in my mind…

That’s were the sadness arise...

Life was so unpretentious back then, but delta had to strike, not once or twice but time and again!

Momma’s boy is no more a child today. From his personal room to a four membered concentration camp to a two membered cubical slot in a third world wing, its ∆ all the way!

There was a time a year back, when staring at the ceiling fan was considered to be a source of entertainment. Today is one such day for me. A day when one loses the purpose of his life. A day when existence and survival conflicts with my living.

Guess stagnancy in life comes with an expiry date embarked upon. With the hope to find some stimulus, motivation and spice to life, I continue to gaze at the ceiling fan…

And those anticipating a follow up to my previous post, “Wait for it....almost there" :)

Adieus amigos…